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A Caregivers Story
By Spa guru | August 30, 2009
A level of frustration is inherent in Alzheimer’s and dementia , not just for the person who has it, but also for that person’s caregiver(s). Until recently, caregivers were advised to “correct” a patient with dementia in regards to actions not considered “normal”. But nowadats, a much gentle approach has superseded this wisdom. For example, a dementia care patient, forgetting that he is retired, may begin to dress for work. The old wisdom would tell us to remind him that he is no longer working or employed. But that’s where the problem lies; if you were getting ready for work and were told that you are not employed and hadn’t been for a number of years, how would you feel? No doubt you would be shaken. So nowadays, caregivers are always told to ” go along ” with the patient’s sake, help them pick out a tie or what-have-you, and then slowly move the discussion to other matters until the fact that he must go to work slips his mind. I have one friend who is a licensed CNA, and an in-home caregiver with over a decade’s worth of experience providing long-term care to dementia patients.
Rita’s voice appeals its rythmic Irish phrasing and accent, her laughter and graying red curls burst forth from her small frame in spurts of abundance. I spoke with her recently about her personal care philosophy. When I mentioned the above situation, she responded, “You have to let them get dressed for work. You need to let them go through their moments.” Her own philosophy is definitely one of the diversion, but she says she came across this naturally, and told me, “The man I look after now is a person. There are times when he’s going through something or having a moment, but he’s always a person.” She went on to stress the importance of eye contact as she finds dementia patients are ” in their own world and they are clinging onto ideas, it’s hard to distract them from that so you need to make sure they really see you.” She went on to explain, ” It can be difficult because they are so strong-willed.” I asked how her patient was that evening. She said, ” He is absolutely wonderful. I’m holding hands with him right now,” and I could hear her mouth breaking into a smile even over the phone line. This vacillating between great joy and stress seems par for the course for many homecare aides. Caregiving is indeed an interdisciplinary field where science, the mind and the heart have to combine for any real success to occur.
Rita’s own patient is medicated and his aides overlap at different points in the day to help him when he is walking. One aide walks in front of his walker and the other on the back. Once during this exercise, a family member was talking about an issue in the family business, and although normally the man would be completely engulfed in the act of walking, he replied in a cheerful manner, ” Well, it’s my dough anyways! ” to everyone’s amusement. I also asked Rita how she deals with a job that can be rewarding, but can sometimes be quite tiresome, both physically and emotionally. She mentioned attending social events, in her opinion, nothing relieves stress as much as a good party with friends. She also made mention that even her patient was able to attend the odd family occasion, but big crowds stress him as do unfamiliar faces. I enquired as to whether he remembered her, after all, she works there five days a week. ” Oh now, I began working here too late. He doesn’t know my name, but, you know what, he is always happy to see me and calls me a nice lady. “
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